God's Initiation Part 1: My Participation

Me and my sister and best friend since 10th grade Janea with founder of YWAM Loren with his sister Janice in Thailand 

At a local school's end of school year party (graduation)/ I taught music here 

Praying over Pattaya city before street evangelism in it's Red light district

Did you know the song "God of this city" sung by Chris Tomlin was written about this city?

"Greater things are yet to come greater things are still to be done in this city..." we handed out roses and shared Jesus' love with bar owners/ workers during our time of evangelism 

My sister had a dream she shared with me just before I left Kona that she was driving me and Janea some place in the Pacific to meet with this guy Andy. Who knew we both would be here in Thailand at YWAM together hearing from Andy a few months later. 

My Poipet family! Bong Pheap, Srey Leak, Janea, and Lauren 

From Revelation class, may we never forget our "first love" that is Jesus 

A solid post that captures so much of my season from my beloved friend and Kiwi coach Stina.  

"Jesus leads, peace" pronounced: pray ya sew, no-wa-um santa-pe-ap 

A look back at a year ago today...this was just after God released some life changing (rhema) now words while also some of my friends were getting ready for part 2 of Watershed: Awaken the Dawn in Washington D.C. 

Did you know that everywhere in the US right now there is 24/7 worship and prayer @ every state capitol even in Peurto Rico and Israel called Tent America. Get to your state's or a state's capitol and worship and pray for your country, then be willing to be that answer to your prayers. "Send me" 

Currently, I taught my English students Isaiah 1:16-17, I love that we serve a God willing to take on our questions and speak clearly to us. May we be willing and obedient to what He says, no matter what.  

In Khmer...

I want to tell you about the Khmer. Many years ago, I attended a Foursquare Church Pastor’s Conference with my parents. There was a missionary who spoke during an evening session. He was working in Cambodia. All I remember about him is that he was an older man who had been there for many years and was training up young Khmer (Cambodian) men. He referred to them as the Khmer Lions. He had nothing but good to say about them and somehow he painted a picture about the Khmer being bold and fearless in their faith of Jesus. Those words and pictures stuck with me for a while but at that time I would have never picked up on the fact that God would indeed one day call me also to the great nation of Cambodia. I actually had never heard about the country prior to that conference, nor did I ever hear about the Khmer Rouge while growing up in school. No, this was a seed planted that I look back to now as a moment that marked me. A few months ago, I got my, I guess I could say, third tattoo (I got my 1st tattoo back in University, on my feet, it said “send me”, had to get it re-done (2nd tattoo?) but it eventually faded so much so that I only have a few spots to remind me that I did in fact have tattoos there). We were in Battambong, Cambodia and I felt compelled to create a more permanent outward mark on my body to commemorate this journey. I am not sure why exactly I did it, I hadn’t thought about this tattoo idea for years or looked up Pinterest ideas on placement nor prayed about it for very long. I did in fact hear the Lord tell me to wait and there are days I wonder what that was all about. I am sharing this with you now because I want to be vulnerable in my blogs. I want you to read this and not just be inspired but to feel like we are on this journey of growing together. I make mistakes, I sometimes don’t wait, and I sometimes don’t know how to decipher what God is speaking to me about. Am I saying that I regret the tattoo? No. Some days I regret that I don’t allow my tattoo to penetrate beyond skin deep. Just as disclaimer, for I do value and want to have all integrity regarding finances with the Lord and those who have been committed to continue to support me financially: it costs me $17USD and my Advocare Independent Distributor Income paid for it not my financial partners. Continuing, in Khmer it says “Jesus brings peace”. The word for “bring” can translate into not only “to bring” but “to lead”, so it can also read: “Jesus leads peace”. The other day, while having quiet time with the Lord, I thought about this tattoo a lot. Just because it is on my forearm doesn’t mean I constantly remember that it is there or its deeper meaning in my life. No, I forget about it, a lot, it’s often not until a Khmer friend or passerby stops me to talk about it do I remember that I have it and am passionate about it. During my Jesus time, I thought about the words and felt the Lord highlight that there should be a comma in there (I am also an English teacher now, so Jesus talking grammar with me-rad). He spoke that it should read, “Jesus leads, peace”-as in to say, “Hey, I am leading your life, so Chelsea, peace, be still”. I have had many cool conversations and open doors to share with various people about my tattoo and about Jesus’ love for them which is why I am here, to tangibly be the reminder or the one who lets them in on the greatest news of their life, Jesus loves them. I often am reminded of the verse that says, “No greater love, than if a man lays down His life for his friends”. Often, with my tattoo I am able to say, “Hey, I am only here because I asked Jesus where to go, He lead me here, and I asked Him what I am supposed to do, He said bring peace, and I asked Him why and He said because of love.” By being in Cambodia I am symbolically echoing what Jesus exampled for me, I am laying down my life to let people know I love them. I am laying down just encouraging and spending time with my family to encourage and spend time with a people I had never thought of or really heard about up until recently. Why? Because the Kingdom of God isn’t about being comfortable and just making sure we are safe and secure here on earth, this earth is not our home. No, we are ambassadors of the Kingdom of Heaven to bring Heaven to earth by the choices we make. Each choice can point to either Jesus or ourselves. I want my life to point to Jesus and the only way I can do that is by following in His footsteps and laying my life down likewise. Laying down our lives for Jesus and others means to truly love. I’ll say it again to truly love means to lay down our life. A few weeks ago we were studying the book of Jeremiah. I was actually becoming quite lethargic in my walk with God and was falling into old habits and patterns that I am far too familiar with when it comes to studying God’s word for academia. I knew my friend Janea was going to be coming to Cambodia and I was feeling super dry and a bit embarrassed to welcome her in “my condition”. What happened to the faith filled fire? I had shut it up in my bones and was rejecting the call of God. Thus I was self-medicating with binge watching YouTube, eating way too much sugar, going to sleep extremely late, drinking risky amounts of caffeine and was coming to resent my current life here in Cambodia. Many of my teammates were prayerfully making commitments to return to Cambodia in the coming year as we will be leaving for Hawaii debrief on December 7th and I was especially avoiding these conversations with my peers. I did not want anyone to ask me if I was going to come back because I did not want to ask God if He was in fact sending me back.  What did I do instead? I began face timing friends and family and releasing premature plans with them. Even in a blog around the same time, I was releasing how I had hoped to return to Louisiana for Christmas and make a circuit telling everyone about the mission exploits. Instead of operating in faith though, I was operating in fear. What about my 30k in student loans debt, or the fact that I don’t have a car anymore in America, or what about my staff fees of $300 for October-December, or what about my niece and nephews, they are growing at a rapid pace, what if they don’t remember me? Or what about the fact that I am single and I want to have my own family some day? What about all of this God? No, instead of focusing my questions on the Lord and to the Lord, I decided to carry those burdens myself. I did the only thing I knew how when things felt heavy. I escaped or ran away. No, not physically like Jonah, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually…I ran as fast as I could. What was I so afraid of? I was afraid that God would call me to indeed commit to Cambodia. I not only made Christmas plans and false promises during the height of my homesickness/ time of running, but I also began applying for two major things: an 18 month online finish my degree program as well as an 18 month YWAM internship in Australia. These things in and of themselves are not wrong or evil, but for me, they were my plans. Finishing my degree meant I could come back to Louisiana and begin a career. I could become a high school teacher and inspire the next generation to do missions from my hometown. That sounded wise and good. Then, I could do this program while still in YWAM serving on the field a bit closer to my Pacific dream point, NZ, that sounded like it matched God’s original words over my #Mission2Pacific journey, and of course everyone in my life would cheer it on and champion it…except, God was not in it. These were good ideas, but not God ideas for my particular future. I will repeat that, they’re good ideas, and quite possibly could be two things that I end up doing, but it will have to be God’s timing and God’s initiation, not mine. So at the height of my marathon away from my current mission field (or the call of God over my life) I feel asleep, literally. I awoke at 3:15/30 AM on a Wednesday and was scared. I had had a dream and woke up with its interpretation, which is rare and definitely got my full undivided attention. The dream: I was at a couple’s house and wanted to go to sleep on their couch. I tried to fall asleep but was kept awake as the wife was vacuuming in the other room. Then her husband came to her yelling, she was crying. I decided to peace out and tried to find a quiet space, all I found was a little bathroom/closet/hallway. I was in there but then the woman came, I felt trapped. Then her husband came at the door, half naked posted up. I looked at him directly and said, “in the name of Jesus, NO!” and ran out of there with my cell phone. I woke up. The interpretation: This couple did not belong together. This lady represented leaving* something too soon. This man represented joining/starting* something too soon. This woman represented working (like with an organization). This man represented inserting (like receiving education). All I wanted to do was rest, and in the dream I could not rest while the woman was noisily working nor could find a safe and quiet space, as the couple was suffocating me and implying their dominion over me. I escaped with the words of my mouth (the word of God) and my cell phone (my relationship with God / hearing His voice (now (Rhema) word). This dream freaked me out so much that I began crying and repenting to the Lord for having tried to run away from what He was calling me into. I couldn’t sleep and felt that I needed to continue processing with God to have courage to face what I knew I needed to do. I stayed up a few more hours to do homework. We were studying the book of Jeremiah that week in my Bible Core Course and I had to do a character study on Jeremiah. My main take away from his life and mine was that we both had a call on our lives. Jeremiah said that if he didn’t speak out what God had given him and live out the call on his life it was like fire shut up in his bones, he had no choice, he had to release it. Also, his call was not an easy one. God indeed told him things of his future he could expect from following through with the call. Why would God tell Jeremiah He would never marry or have children? Why would God tell Jeremiah no one would listen? Sometimes, we need to know not only the good but the hard as well, that way our informed and decided yes becomes really firm, no matter what. It becomes more immovable, unshakable, irreversible if your commitment is there in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, “till death do you part”. God did not say people would not listen to me or that I would never marry…instead he reminded me that my current yes would mean not going into Louisiana for 5 years. I thought it would suck to write this to you my friend if you are from Louisiana. But instead, just as Jeremiah 29:11 says, God’s plans for us are that of a future and a hope. I sense hope rising as I say that I believe God does not in fact want me to return to Louisiana for at least 5 years. Why? Because I believe He wants you to come to me. He wants my life to be that of a solid plant that recently has been uprooted. God has re-planted and grafted me in to new ground, where there is new wine. Like the spies (Caleb and Joshua in the Bible) I do have a good report to tell about the Promised Land (physically and spiritually speaking). The true Promised Land lifestyle is about faith and believing not in ourselves or our abilities but in God’s to do everything that He said He would do. He said in Revelation that He is coming soon (just finished reading Revelation in my BCC this week) and that means that we need to do what we are called to do. If you are a preacher, preach with everything you have in you. If you serve, do it unto God, whatever you do, do it all unto the glory of God the father, and not unto man. Please God, not man. Fulfill your missions and preform your vows unto God. We are called on this side of heaven while waiting for the return of Christ to lay down our lives and showcase the love of Jesus in how we serve and love the one in front of us. For me, currently I live with 6 Khmer brothers, 2 Khmer sisters, 1 Canadian, 1 Kiwi (New Zealand), 1 Brazilian, and 9 Americans. Each day we are growing closer to Jesus and becoming more unified like the John 17 community Jesus prayed we would all become. One step at a time, we must lay down our lives and rights for each other. We can’t be so self-focused but we must out serve one another and love, really love. Love looks like something. As Bob Goff says, “Love Does”. A few days after the dream, I emailed the YWAM Australia and the degree program (University) administration I was looking into joining and said a polite, “sorry, maybe next time”. I faced the next day fearless and ready to speak to my current YWAM base leadership. Before I left for Cambodia in Kona, Hawaii I knew I had an open door back in Kona. They asked me there to pray about joining the staff for a 2 year commitment upon returning from Cambodia. A few days before they even spoke with me, I believe I heard God say, “You will be with YWAM for four years (or give YWAM a minimum of 4 years)”. When the leaders chatted with me and a few others about staffing the January DTS, I believed the Lord was already showing me the course direction I was to take upon returning from Cambodia. Of course, with this new tattoo and it’s open doors of evangelism and the fact that I was picking up on the Khmer language quickly and have made numerous friends on this side and now had Khmer family, brothers and sisters I really felt called to run alongside, to champion and be encouraged/inspired by, I was wondering how would this Kona commitment and Cambodia work? The BIG NEWS we’ve all been waiting for: or at least, I have been waiting for the Lord to officially open up and speak clearly about: I will be leading a 9 month team from YWAM Kona, Hawaii’s January Discipleship Training School back to Cambodia come April 2019! TO BE CONTINUED…